Wanna see me at work?

My friend Nicki suggested I write about one of the kids that I work with.  For those who don't know, I am a behavior interventionist.  I work with children with Autism and go to their homes to do different therapy programs with them.  Here is one tiny glimpse at the things I get to witness:

We will call him Giggles.  Mostly, because by the way he laughs at his own jokes you would think he is the funniest person in the world.  Which, he might be.  I arrive at Giggles' house the same time he does.  He spots me and immediately groans and follows it with a "NOOOOO.  Hate you!  Hate you!"

Oh the games we play.

"Giggles, show me how to use nice words.  Hi Giggles!" Now he knows I won't leave him alone until he is a tad kinder.

G: "Hi May-nan (Megan)."
M: "How are you?"
G: "Gate (Great).  How you?"
M: "I'm so good. Thanks for saying hi and using nice words.  Why don't you have a few minutes of free time."
G: "NOO LONGER! LONGER!!"
M: "Do you want one minute or five longer minutes?"
G: "Longer."
M: "Ok.  5 longer minutes then."

So I unload and start getting ready for the session by gathering materials.  With this particular kiddo, I ignore him completely after he greets me because as we can see a year has gone by and he still hates seeing me at first.  He will usually hide in his bed or play or run around with his usual vocal expressions of "AHHHH AHHH AHHHH ER ER ER NA NA NA NA" Honestly, they are no longer funny or strange sounds to me.  They are just Giggles.

Today he has chicken nuggets so he is at the table with me.  I walk away.  I come back and find him giggling over spilled chocolate milk that he is rubbing all over himself and the furniture.  His mischievous smile shines when he looks at me and explains in one word both the mess and his glee, "Bubbles."

M: "Oh dear.  Bubbles in the chocolate milk.  Next time try small bubbles."

Well that was an invitation.  Process repeated.  I carefully train him on the art of maintained bubble blowing and we clean up and get started.  For him we have a visual schedule that has pictures of what we are going to do with my time there.  We take turns choosing.  His favorite choice is the star that means FREE TIME.  My favorite choice is the snack time because then I get to convince him to try food he hates.  I don't know why I love desensitization programs so much, but they are my favorite!  He has gone from sobbing when I hold turkey in front of him to licking it, to holding it on his tongue, to holding it in his mouth, and the other day he chewed it for the first time!!  Something about getting people to do stuff they hate makes me happy?  Am I a torturer?  Don't answer that.

Today, Mom gave us a cool rock that we got to break apart to find gems.  Duh, breaking stuff?  Fun.  Giggles was in heaven as he took the hammer and chisel and repetitively crushed every bit of sandy plaster.  His actions were accompanied by the face he makes when he is crazy focused on something: jaw locked, forehead furrowed, one eyebrow higher than the other, eyes wide, and all kinds of crazy noises from his mouth.  The kit came with a magnifying glass.  Giggles LOVES hunting.  He loves pirates and treasure maps and scavenger hunts and finding hidden candy etc.  He was pretty motivated today.

Giggles is kind of difficult to understand.  He often will say something and pantomime it until we can figure out what it is (a year ago we couldn't get anything but vowel sounds, now he is using full sentences but to the un-Giggle ear not much would be understood).  He usually ends a question with "Now."  When crossing the street, "Hand now?" When wanting a snack.  "Hungry now." When face-timing mom on her vacation and sweetly asking her to come "home now?"

Today I saw a band-aid on his elbow and asked what happened.  He got that look in his eye.  That Giggles look.  He smiled and said, "Bah-beye".  Then he raised his arm to his mouth and pantomimed biting.  The charades begin.

M: "Bug bite?" "Did a kid at school bite you?" "Did you bite yourself?" "Did a spider bite you?"
G:  No. No. No. No.

Mom tried to help but we couldn't figure any of it out.  After 5 minutes of intense interrogation, Giggles was fighting back laughter as if he had a joke coming on.  Finally, he said it one more time "Bah-Beye" BUT this time, he followed it up with a "Grrrrrr," and brought his hands to his face with his fingers curled.  Mom said, "A vampire?"

And then came the giggles.  Fired with machine-gun rapidity his low chuckle tumbled out infectiously.  "YEAH! A Bah-beye!"  See?  He knew what he was saying this entire time.  He insisted that it was a vampire.  He later told me his name was Dracula and he came and bit him when he was in bed.  I asked if he was a goofy vampire or a scary one.  He said with all seriousness (and a look like "duh May-nan") "Scary."  I asked him if he was a vampire now and with the same look of condescendence towards me he said, "NoOOooo."

He is always playing tricks on me.  Right when I think he just wants to cuddle, he rips my scarf off of my neck and chucks it across the room.  He laughs hysterically when I accompany him to retrieve it. I fall for it every time (but I finally stopped wearing scarves.)  He tries to steal candy. He distracts me with a "this chicken nugget is HOT," hoping I will inspect it so he can try to run away.

Funny side note:  The other day I had to eat his candy because he wasn't focusing on his work and the timer went off.  We had a deal, but he clearly didn't believe I would follow through.  So I ate it and he started sobbing in disbelief (umm there was a huge pile of candy in the corner but I guess he really wanted this one).  He was so shocked that he pried my mouth open with his hands to see if the candy was really gone.  Multiple times.

There are no words to describe how much I love this kid.  And he knows it.  One time I asked him who loves him and he listed his family members and then said, "And May-nan!"

But don't worry.  I know he loves me too.  He may start the session with "HATE YOU" but secretly, his mom told me that she asked who to invite to his birthday camping get-away.  Do you know what he said?  "Momma, dad, sister, Grammy, and May-nan."

HAH.  I win.

Siobhan

Why am I so terrified?  It is just a phone number.  You dial it and someone answers.

Where did I get this number, you ask?  Oh, that story begins with homesickness.  Like all of my stories from the beginning of Italy do.  I was homesick for Halloween, of all things.  So I went to the market.  I stood there stupidly until I watched enough people take a ticket to know that standing in line was an idiotic thing to do.  I was the only person who was buying a pumpkin for carving rather than soup.  Then I heard someone speak English.  As I always did in Pecetto, I immediately sought out the human making those sounds and struck up a conversation.  It lead to her giving me the number of a coworker who was looking for friends.

The coworker's name was Siobhan.  I finally dialed her number.  She answered and we had a good chat.  She sounded so friendly and so nice.  However, I knew that our cultures were a little different (Irish + Mormon).  What if she drank all the time?  What if she only wanted to party? What if she was a cool person (those and I don't get along much-not like unique=cool but a person who is literally 2 cool for school)? What if she thought I was stupid?  What if she got too clingy and I suffocated from friendship?  What if she watched movies that I absolutely hated?  These are the things I worry about when making new friends.

I remember walking up her stairs the first time and seeing such a beautiful blonde.  Her Irish accent rang delightfully throughout the seven times I had to ask her to pronounce her name.  (Sh-iv-on).  It turns out, the first night we hung out we watched a mutual all time favorite (French Kiss).  Turns out, she was really accepting of all types of people (even non-drinking Mormon friends who were a little timid about exploring the Torino world).    Turns out, we loved so many of the same movies.  Turns out, she had lived an exciting life full of so many destinations from which she had come and gone.  Turns out, making that phone call gave me a friend who didn't know me for very long, but still housed me when my job as an au pair fell through.  Turns out, the more she drank the wiser she got.   Long chats with her when I was desperate and lost still sound in my ears when I feel myself getting anywhere near the darkness of fear.  She was so kind to me.  She had such beautiful hopes and dreams, most of which involved finding a soul mate and getting married.  Today, that dream came true.  I saw videos and pictures go up of a wedding in Torino of one of the humans in this world who has literally saved my life.  My heart could not be fuller.  Congratulations my wonderful friend!  Tanti Auguri!!!