Thursday, December 5, 2013

Everything I am I owe to Lindsey?


If you think I am grateful I have friends . . .

It is because of my relationship with Lindsey.

If you think I am brave it is because . . .




Except for Lindsey.  She would always get a camera ready.  But I wised up.  Last time, I did a potentially floppy dive into the pool AFTER I forced her to turn her camera off.  But seriously, she encouraged me to do a lot of good things too that made me brave.  I guess in a twisted way all the dumb stuff I did that she told me to do helped me shake off failed attempts at other good stuff.  ??? Right??

The real reason I went to BYU-Idaho . . .



































Lindsey & I were full of these principles.

Why I play the ukulele?





BECAUSE I HAD ACCESS TO AMAZING MUSICAL ABILITIES FOR YEARS AND NOW I SUFFER WITHDRAWALS DAILY FROM IT.  YOU HAVE RUINED ME.

I could go on forever.  Trevor would love it.  But basically . . .




Happy Birthday Lindsey Pie.

For the rest of you . . .

Throwback thursday?  I am just really proud of this post
 http://mags-rags.blogspot.com/2011/12/another-birthday-post-to-lindsey-who.html

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

What do YOU do when your car won't start?

Because this is what I did:
First, I called Brooke because she knows about car stuff and she works down the road from where I stopped to eat lunch and subsequently lost power to my car.  While I was waiting to hear back from her my thought was, "what is the purpose of my car not starting right now?" because it is so much easier to look for good than it is to be stressed.  Brooke texted me that she couldn't help until 2:30ish and it was 1:00 (the time my last appointment was supposed to start.)  So what is the next thing that I did?  Well, I started knocking on doors (anyone remember the "locked out of the house in Italy" post?)  Ok, well I only knocked on one.  A really petite, lovely, black woman who was on the phone answered.  I automatically said, "Sorry to bother you, my car won't start and I was hoping you would have jumper cables and time to help me."  Yada yada yada she pulled her car around.  She hooked up the cables and after 8 attempts to start it, we gave up.  At this point, I am pretty much clueless as to what to do.  It was clear to me that the appointment would be on hold until this car thing got figured out.  In my mind, I was going to try a few more people on the phone and just wait for Brooke to finish if no one answered.  And that, my friends, was the point where my mind was completely unprepared for how I would actually spend the next hour and thirty minutes.

This lovely Berneice said, "Let me introduce you to chanting."

My heart leapt. I actually smiled like a kid on Christmas morning with anticipation.

She handed me a card that said, "Nam-myoho-renge-kyo."  She launched into this explanation that the universe can be reached by saying these words.  Nam=to devote oneself.  Myoho=mystic law- the underlying truth that governs the universe and our life. Renge=the law of cause and effect/karma/the lotus flower i.e. the pristine flower grows from a muddy pond/we create our destiny.  Kyo=sutra or voice/teaching of Buddha.

Then she said, "What is your plan?  If you want to come back to my house while you wait for your friend, I will teach you how to chant this.  It is the idea to be at peace within ourselves and thereby the universe.  The thoughts you put out can change your situations."

Well, because she was a total stranger to me and her invitation could potentially be the weirdest way I could spend an afternoon,  I said,

"Ok!"

Of course.

In the front room of her lovely home, she showed me the Gohonzon, which was the scroll that is the focal point during a chant.  It was set within an altar that also contained small containers filled with rice or fresh water to represent life.  She gave me a string of beads that represented the body and 100+ worldly vices.  The following are some highlights from the discussion we had as we sat before the altar upon the coolest little chanting stool.  Some of the following I said, some she said, but I don't really feel the need to clarify.

"We have our true selves and our ego self.  The true self is connected to the universe.  The ego is the self that is subject to greed, anger, hate, all of those things in this world that cause suffering."

"Desire is good.  It is the fear of not getting what we desire that causes suffering.  The universe knows what you need and your true self is connected to the universe.  Your true self already knows how to solve the problem."

"Another member and I have a little joke when 'coincidences' happen.  We say, 'How myoho is that?'"

"Attachments to a person, or expectations, or things, or interactions are what cause the suffering.  Just let it go.  This hour is past and you cannot get it back."

"Your view of the world is like looking in a mirror.  If you are at conflict with the world it is a reflection that you have conflict within yourself."

"Chanting is more about the ability to recognize universal truth.  It is not so much a religion."

"The chanting allows you to channel the energy and focus it on reaching your true self.  Your true self is the myoho, by reaching it you have the power of renge to cause changes for your good."

"Paying too much attention to the ego locks away the power of the true self."

And then . . . we chanted.

A lot.

I love these moments.  I loved chanting the words not knowing how long this would go on or how long it had been.  I was completely following her lead.  I just stared at that scroll and said the words and suppressed little smiles that would come on my face when I thought of what Lindsey would think, or what Brittany would think (knowing those two people would represent completely different sentiments.)  Chant. Chant. Chant. Chant. Chant. Chant. Over and over and over.  I really did start to get this sense of peace, a letting go of attachments and a healthy grasp of control.  Most of you probably see it as no surprise that I have no trouble swallowing the idea that the thoughts we put into the universe become a part of it.  Which, if it is a part of you, they also become you.

We then read some scriptures from Nichiren Daishonin, kind of the founder of the Lotus Sutra. And she offered me food and beverage and handed me literature and gave me a hug.  And we parted.

I got back to my car and there was a man unloading things into the building.  I thought he could offer his opinion on the car situation.  He hooked up his own cables the same way that Berneice and I had done it.  He told me to turn my key.

And my car started.

How myoho is that?

Sunday, October 27, 2013

We are all a little bit Autistic

You might be a behavior specialist if

1.  You try to teach parents parenting tips when you have never been a parent . . . and you are 26.
2.  A kid peeing in the toilet is the result of sitting with them in the bathroom, sometimes for hours. And it is the most deserving of a victory dance.
3.  You feel totally at home when you walk into some client's houses.  And you get a little slack about professionalism because you feel like you are best friends with the family.  At others you knock on the door while praying "please have a shirt on, please have a shirt on, please have a shirt on. . ."
4.  You feel like Nanny McPhee because when the kids want you around is when they don't really need you anymore.
5.  You are a ninja at avoiding bites, hits, slaps, kicks, snot, spit, permanent markers, any type of beverage, being peed on etc.  Unfortunately, all of these have happened to me once, but only once.
6.  You literally witness miracles.
7.  You spend your nights praying for your clients and then the next day at the park they have a natural opportunity to succeed at the very thing you have been praying about.
8.  You get to see how other kids can be angels.  Some are so patient and never question why this new friend can't talk.  They play with them anyway.  Or why he throws dirt, or why he eats the dirt.  They play anyway.  Or why he has a "friend" who is an adult and plays with them.  They play anyway.  Or why the child is freaking out over climbing on the playground.  They play with them anyway.  Those are some of the days that I cry because I am so grateful for the other kids in this world.
9.  Out of the blue one of your clients might say, "Megan, I love you."  Which is not any less valuable when the next sentence from him is "I LOVE THIS GAS STATION," in a much more excited tone.
10.  One of your clients tells you over and over again that his favorite treat is the white jelly bean.  After i juggle for him for a few minutes, he says, "GREAT JOB!! You deserve a treat."  And he digs through the jelly beans and says, "here you go," as he hands me his favorite white jelly bean.  Oh bless.
11.  You start developing what we call stims (any thing that stimulates the body senses including clenching muscles, banging head on the wall, hitting yourself, flapping, hitting your ears etc.) I kind of have these now.  When I see nature and beauty I get over stimulated and clench my body and say in a weird voice "IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL!"  Oops.

My job is somedays really difficult.  Other days I can't believe I get paid to have so much fun.  I do what is equivalent to occupational therapy, speech therapy, (although I am not as skilled as the pros are)  social skills, and most of all, curbing the tantrums.  I never get angry with them, which I hope continues when I am a parent.  I love them so much.  Working with these children has taught me so much about the worth of a soul and the worth of each person.  It has taught me that we can always change.  WE CAN ALWAYS CHANGE.  We can always be better.

I saw this collection of photos the other day.  The photographer is a dad and the model is his son who has Autism.  Some of the poses in these pictures I have seen my kids do a million times.  And almost all of my kids would rather be naked at ALL times.  http://www.timothyarchibald.com/#/echolilia/echolilia%20-%20personal%20project/6/

Friday, October 18, 2013

"Olow?" "Sir, I think it is 'Hello'!"

Once upon a time, there was a girl who assumed everywhere she went would have wireless internet.  She was wrong in Boise, Italy, and Salt Lake.  In each city, her apartment situations did not allow it (too many weird long stories including how one of my roommates told me before i moved in that I could use the neighbors like she did, then i found out after that she was lying and SHE could use the internet but i couldn't.  She was sooooo nice, she offered to let me use her computer but I was thinking "I have a computer, all I really need is a password.")   SO after almost 3 years of inconsistently having the internet, it is back.  I just moved in with my cousin.  She is pretty normal and wanted to share the internet cost DUH.  I keep trying to go to a friend's house to send an email, then I remember "HA!! I HAVE the internet!"

So what to blog first?  Well, the wedding dress pictures are not ready yet, so not that.  I don't have a boyfriend so not that.  I think I will just do another list.

1.  I always forget to do before photos.  I am too rushed to get a project done.  So my friend had this hideous dresser.  I knew I needed one, but I wasn't sure if I wanted a hideous one.  UNTIL I knew its purpose.  For months I have this itch to write on the walls the things I am grateful for.  I tried a gratitude journal, but something about closing the book puts it out of my mind.  I actually did write on the walls a couple of times.  It was awesome, but I had to paint over it later.  Boo.  I tried a cork board with cards.  But what I needed was a hideous dresser to paint.  Now I write all over it.  Filling it in is fun.


I know the writing is backwards.  WebCam shot.  But my favorite is the in the left upper part.  It says, "I really love chocolate."  

2.  I need to blog about work.  Maybe next time.  Prepare for an Autism post.  
3.  Maybe this should be number 1.  I just finished my grad school application.  Been thinking about that one for . . . . years.  Master of Social Work.  I might not know until May if i get in, so don't pay too much attention yet.  
4.  Need to share a profound thought (maybe i should let other people tell me they are profound . . .) So my "friend" shared this profound thought.  Read Ether 2:25 And behold, I prepare you against these things; for ye cannot cross this great deep save I prepare you against the waves of the sea, and the winds which have gone forth, and the floods which shall come.  Therefore what will ye that I should prepare for you that ye may have light when ye are swallowed up in the depths of the sea?  

I am sure some of you have already thought what I just barely thought, but here it goes.  I read this thinking of the great things I am currently undertaking.  Some of them are so exciting and I have so much hope for their success.  But, I know there may be a point where I am swallowed up in the depths of the seas of discouragement, or selfishness.  Here the Lord is asking me, "Megan, what would you have me prepare for you now so that you may have light in the times you are swallowed up in discouragement?  What will get you through?"  I really don't know the answer to that question.  But, I can't stop thinking about it.  Think about it for you.  Maybe you can prepare now something that will bring light to you later, and if you can't the Lord can.  

Until next time (which might be soon because I have the internet around so I can just do it whenever)

love,
mjean.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Things

1. I don't have the internet. 1 year and counting.
 2. I met Rosie. Jealous?
 3. I love Lindsey and Trevor.
 4. All of my nieces are the cutest baby girls in the world.
 5. I am a behavior specialist these days. I work with children with Autism.
 5 1/2. I love it.
 6. My hair is beautiful thanks to my friend. I love it. Red is the color my hair wants to be (yes Scott Keller. Yes.)
 7. I adore my church folk, my Bishop, my family in SLC, my Bishop's wife, my garden gurus, my garden, my roommates, my friends, my home. All in all, SLC is shaping up fairly nicely.
 8. I have a friend on a mission that I think about all the time. I miss her and I wish everyone knew her. 9. I may be dying of an infectious child bite. Autism man. some of dem kids bite.
 10. Rachael Susan James Mulder and I talk a bit more these days and it is wonderful, more than wonderful. Remember the LOVE!! ALWAYS. I totes miss Dan and want to meet Jude so badly.  I want to meet Lindsay Green Bjorn's bunch too.
 11. I am making a wedding dress. NOT MINE. For a good friend.
 12. I love ice cream a lot.
 13. My new diet is to not eat seconds. Bold right?
 14. My family is great, thanks for asking.
 15. There is a lot of love in this life, or just in this list. LOVE TO ALL MY FRIENDS. Miss you always!
 16. Shanna is Shanna. And always will be. It is nice to have someone around who consistently calls me Meg.