Lost In Translation

You know you are in a foreign country when . . .

1. You mistake a missed call as being from your Italian friend so you call her back. When she sends you emails, messages, facebook responses explaining that she is busy in class so she can't call you. No matter how many different ways you try to explain that it was a mistake, she can't understand why you called just to chat when you know how busy she is at University. (Don't underestimate this friend though, she is the sweetest thing and kept asking if I was ok, even if she couldn't talk to me.)

2. When the mother of the family that you work for expects you to know that cooking pasta, picking veggies from the garden & cooking them, and preparing meat is not considered cooking in Italy. Unless you are cooking the entire meal, you should be able to provide all of these things without being asked. Likewise, why can't you buy bread and automatically know the magic hour that the bread store is open along with which specific bread we all want? After all, "You have to work for us. We are paying you." A simple "to-do" list would, you are certain, clear up the confusion, even if you did not come here to fail at making dinner for five.

3. When you ruin your favorite cookies that you have had mastered ever since that one semester when you cooked them once a week in 113. Even though you always say, "these cookies never turn out right" and slam the pan on the stove, this time it really is true. And now there is a picture to show it.



And you can't even hide it by burying it in a dumpster because everything, down to the tissue that you wipe your nose with, has a specific garbage can and the compost can just happens to be unjustly empty.

4. When, as supported by the above evidence, you realize you have lost all skill. You don't recognize ingredients. Every sewing machine is ancient. You can't cook rice. You don't know if sweetened condensed milk exists. You can't find a supermarket because what you imagine as a supermarket (a large store with an actual parking lot) is actually a tiny box of a shop on an obscure corner. You don't know where to find baking powder. No one knows what oatmeal is. Things that shouldn't break just snap in your hands.




If something tastes slightly off, the Italian children give it back and head for the entire box of cereal. You feel like a failure and constantly ask yourself "What am I doing here?" only to answer yourself with, "If I wasn't here I would be wiping an old lady's bottom." And then again you say "What was I doing before that and when was the last time my life had direction?"

5. When all you want to do is hear your sister's, grandmother's, father's, or the one and only sacred mother's voice you remember that even though it is noon here it is 4 a.m. in the States. By the time they are even awake, you have to sit without wireless as the kids use the one ethernet cord after school.

You know the world is an ok place and that home is not so far away when . . .

1. You have a French mother's shoulder to cry on, even if only hypothetically, and she wants you to make a custom Jumper for her. Then her son's girlfriend says "You can make me a dress & I will pay you."

2. You join a volleyball team and know that when the other players say "GRANDE" after you slam a ball to the floor you are being accepted and complimented.

3. You find an international book shop and buy a book you've never heard of (The Year of Magical Thinking) when you hope for something beautiful and are not disappointed, a classic (Jane Eyre), and request "The Taming of the Shrew" so you can read constructions of words and relish in the written eloquence of authors dead and alive.

4. You eat chocolate after trying to cry without being able to when you feel like. . . a word I don't use . . . and it works even better on this continent because the bite-sized therapy was invented in this city.

5. You go to church thinking you can teach a thing or two to these late-life converts, only to come back knowing your pompous thoughts were sweetly humbled. And you stand right there and thank God for everything in your life. Then you listen to Pres. Monson's talk and do it again.

6. When you realize little things like how beautiful your sisters were on their wedding day, how much you and your mother look alike, how lucky you are to have cousins (one expecting twins which gives you an immense feeling of how precious and special families are) and to have lived close to them , how amazing it is that your brother-in-law found the gospel and actively lives it. You realize that you have lived with the greatest friends in the world, that they are rooting for you, that people read your blog, that you EVEN MISS YOUR LITTLE BROTHER. You realize that you still get to watch Glee and Bones! Your best friend helps you out with secret online technicalities. And you get to sing all day because you are home alone.

And then after writing this entire post, you happen to catch your dad at home when he was taking a sick day.

Life can be pretty bitter-sweet, like an 85% dark Lindt chocolate bar. But the most advanced chocolate eaters can tell you that the darker it is the better.

love always,

megan jean