Silence

To catch you up:

I have had some vocal problems for a while now.  Through overuse and misuse I ended up with a vocal hemorrhage!  The only solution is voice rest.  Gentle therapy has also been helping it heal.  Luckily, I haven't been working and I only had school once a week so I didn't need to talk by the time I went to the doctor.  So I have been silent for 2 weeks now and am meant to continue for another week until my job starts.  Then I am supposed to talk as little as possible.  

A lot of people have been asking me about my experience (since we all know I am a talker). 

The biggest surprise is that it isn't as hard for me as a lot of us might think.  I think for me, the hardest part was not talking to strangers.  Like the grocery store cashiers when they make friendly chatter and I just silently had thoughts.  Or the girl who had a really cute skirt: instead of saying, "I love your skirt, it gives this really cool mermaid aura" she just thought I was checking her out.

When I do speak, it is quiet and people start whispering.

Soul friend goes silent in solidarity for the first hour or so when hanging out with each other post injury.

Nieces that are looking forward to aunt time call in desperation saying, "Megan, where your voice go?"  "Maybe the bank has her voice.  Or maybe there!"  I think Sofia even got mad when she found out.  She wasn't sure coming to my house would be fun.  Singing is a big part of our time together.  We even have a special chant/song.  (Umm, they loved it.  We had so much fun.) 

Something I loved was being alone with my quiet friends.  In particular, I loved being with Sarah the Lionheart.  We talk so much and it is such a big part of our friendship that not talking was weird for both of us.  I often launch into long monologues as I try to process something and she just listens.  She will have those moments too, but she usually takes comfort in knowing that I might fill the spaces with talk.  I asked her (via text-to-voice technology) if it was weird to be the talkative one.  She nodded and indicated it was a little awkward and different.  But I liked it.  I liked hearing her chatter more and talk more nonsense and wisdom--she literally is wisdom.

We spent an evening with our soul friend Kate and it was so fun how we used the app to talk.  I noticed I had to be quick if I wanted to say anything and I sometimes had to interrupt the flow to say a comment.  I even sang her happy birthday!  

The next night I went to my other friend's birthday to hang out with my framily.  It was wild!  I had so much fun.  I told them I would say the prayer.  It went something like this.

The rest of the night was SOO much fun because my friends are hilarious.  Luckily, hilariousness makes me silent laugh.  We played a game on our phones . . . together.  It is called Psych (kind of like balderdash).  I continued using the app to talk and felt like I was a part of the group, even though it was different for all of us.  I think I heard my friend Heather say, "even though it was a computer voice, I felt like I was hearing Megan's voice." 

Ironically, I saw this video that day about a boy with autism who uses his iPad to talk.  I think by nature I refuse to be disconnected from people, but I also think that working with kids with autism has taught me that there are thousands of ways to build relationships with others.  All it takes is creativity, willingness to listen, and courage to reach out unashamed.  

This made me revisit an idea I had a long time ago to go on a silent date.  (I have so many date ideas.  I loved the eat-in-the-dark date and I can't wait to play 1st date bingo with someone.)  With most of my ideas, it is usually best if I just forget about them.  If I try too hard to make it happen, it gets weird.  But, when I forget about them, my body tunes in and manipulates space with the pure desires of my heart and the ideas resurface in as natural of a way as possible.  

So.  This is the silent date idea resurfacing.  

Stay tuned to see how it went!