Twas the eve of her birthday and it was probably prudent
That I had no gift to give the miss minimalist student
I must do something for her to show her I care
So I put on my thinking cap and sat in my chair
Suddenly it came as quick as a flash
An idea that was brilliant, I’d thought of it fast.
“I’ll throw her a party,” I said with a grin.
And I laughed and I thought “I’ve outdone me again!”
With the help of my magical friend Harry Potter
My invites went out as a quick as penguins in water.
By the next evening, the venue decorated with glee
Was glowing like Christmas garnished with holly and wreaths.
Ding-dong! Went the bell and the first guests had arrived,
We gasped as we realized they weren’t even alive!
Oh the undead Cullen couple crashed with ease,
I guess Mr. Potter had a joke up his sleeve.
I rolled my eyes but saw Lindsey was delighted
Then came in Atlas and we all got excited.
Ariel and Mike became the first present givers
And then Greg came a-sailing on the great Boise river!
Cindy and Jim were already there!
Cindy was taking great pictures with all that love in the
air.
Aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, and friends too (sigh)
All came to show up for dear Lindsey poo-poo-pie
And that, my friends, is where it all got exciting
Because more unusual guests were arriving.
In came the band, all their members intact.
Jesse began warming up so his voice wouldn’t crack.
Then two freaks jumped out from behind the curtain,
Lindsey fell down to her hero Tim Burton.
As soon as they hugged in came another crowd!
And we stood in awe as the ringbearer’s fellowship gathered
round.
Trevor and I got a little carried away,
But came back to our senses when Gandalf started to say,
“I found this package that’s message is revealed only by
fire,
but I fear, little Lindsey, it comes with evil desire.”
A threat rang out from the fire that ended the fun.
It said “I want to kill ever-y-one”
Then a crack and a boom and there appeared,
Lindsey’s evil twin who was widely feared.
A green woman who was strangely obsessed with shoes
Screamed, “I’ll get you my pretty, and your little man
too!”
She spit and she cackled and got on her broom
And set about terrorizing the room.
Everyone panicked but Lindsey said with a yawn,
“Ricky Butler says just douse her with water, and then
she’ll be gone.”
If Ricky Butler said it, it must be true,
But that wicked old witch had turned all water to glue.
When all hope was vanishing someone amazing hovered in.
The Flaming C had come and he brought his friends with him!
His fishnet stockings were making all of us double over
But he looked so daring with that flaming pot holder.
He said to the witch “We will end this tonight”
“Haha,” said she, “but I’ve brought your kryptonite!
You see up above in my tower,” she sniggered
“Is a cat with his finger carefully on the trigger!”
He shakily said, “A cat sniper! I’ll die in an instant, I swear!
And with that the Flaming C and his friends disappeared.
Everyone held their breath as the witch simply smiled.
Trevor stepped forward, his eyes looking wild.
She snarled and said, “What do you want, my pretty?”
Surprising us all he cried, “AGUAMENTI!”
In his hand he held his homemade wand,
And water shot forth, enough for a pond!
The witch melted and cried, “What a world! What a world!”
But that’s what you get when you mess with his girl.
He hadn’t forgotten about that kitten, refusing to fail.
He showed him a picture of this girl as blackmail.
So Trevor saved the day, though he says this story is too
long.
I still claim that I can do nothing wrong.
We clapped and we cheered and Lindsey kissed him with pride,
But then we all hushed when someone else came inside.
A figure walked in from the storm,
The lights came back on and we all cried, “NORM!!”
He dropped off a present and sat down for respite
He said, “Happy Birthday to Lindsey! Now bring me a pint!"
